Here's parts from two conversations, which brought me back all the way to those days. Though those days are long gone, but that's what chat logs are there for. For me, to remember, to always keep those words that meant alot in my heart. If the people who were in this conversation knows that it's them or anyone who knows who they are, don't say anything. (:
Me: X kena dao sia.
Me: Lolz!
X: i dont care
X: he dont dao you can already
X: when i say i want t die
X: he cares for you more than he cares for me
X: so treat him good ok
Y: to the world you may mean nothin
Y: but to somebody u might mean the world
Y: X n you mean the world to me
I'm not emo-ing or anything. It's just that, sometimes, somethings will never be forgotten. And there will always be something there to remind me. I always say, When you can look back into the past and smile instead of cry, it means that you've let go. I always say loads of things to people, but can never do it myself.
Some things are just meant to be. Don't say things too quickly, when you know that you can't mean it forever. 'Cause words can never be taken back, once it's said. And you will never know that the person you said to, took it so seriously. And when you start to take back those words, you already left a huge scar on that person. Words, aren't just words. They are alphabets formed together, with loads of meaning in it.
Sometimes, we don't say 'I love you' enough.
But sometimes, we say it too many times, some take those words for granted and misuse them, until those three words are meaningless now.
Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than hurting yourself trying to put them together.
So, all I can say is cherish the ones you love and never take them for granted. 'Cause when you lose them, it's too late to start regretting, hoping that they would come back to you.
Also, sometimes love is not about having the one you love beside you all your life, sometimes you have to let them go and let them find their own happiness. You'll find happiness in seeing that the one you love is living happily in his life.
Someone once told me this, "Smile because it happened, and not cry because it's over." Yes, things don't go the way you want, but during the process, didn't you enjoy it? So why think about the times when you were down when you can think of the times you had fun and enjoyed your time?
We can never turn back time, so do what you want right now, and never regret later. We all want a time machine in some parts of our lives, but too bad, we don't have one. If I can turn back time, I would turn back to when I was in Secondary 3, EAP towards the end of the year. I wouldn't do what I've done, 'cause I realise that after everything, I've lost a friend, a good friend. We don't talk much anymore, or I should say we don't talk anymore, only when we meet. At least we're not strangers anymore. We won't walk pass each other without saying a 'Hi'.
Many things happened, I don't wish to say them, but those involved will remember those days. There are somethings which I still don't understand, I want the truth, but I believe all of you. So who's really telling the read story? I don't ask anymore, but in my mind, it's always be a question mark.
Some wonders why I still think about it, why I sound so angry talking about it, but sound so forgiving blogging about it, sounds like I've let it go. I am angry at times talking about it, but after thinking about it, over and over, it's already been a year, why hold grudges when you can look at it in a better way? Didn't you had times when you were happy? Didn't you enjoy those few days? I always ask myself those questions. So what if I got very little memories of it? As long as they are important memories, they will forever stay in my heart. Even until the day my heart stops beating, those memories will still be in it, forever.
A year has passed and I haven't change much.
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