I swear, I almost killed myself at that night. Seriously, killed myself. Okay, I sound so emo. But, I seriously couldn't take it anymore. Mother was fucking ABCDEFG. Okay, I think it sounds so whatthefuck, but yah, you're not me. You wouldn't know how I felt. I shall not go into details of what she did. My father ain't any better. But, yah, forget it. In my room, I cried, till I couldn't cry anymore. Why, of all people, me? I needed someone to talk to, but everyone was sleeping. And I wouldn't call them even if I needed to. I've always got through these kind of things my own. So, what's the difference for this case.
I wanted to go for Guzheng the next day, but what? My eyes swell like nobody's business. I could hardly see things around me. And it hurts to even open my eyes properly. Gosh. Was super pekchek-ed, 'cause I couldn't go for Guzheng. And then, around afternoon or so, my parents came back. And my mother woke me up, asking me to eat. To make up for what she'd done to me the day before, she bought my favourite food. Wow. She knew I cried. Throughout the whole day, she was super duper nice to me. I guess she felt guilty for what she'd done. I quarrelled with my father about some hand phone thing. He is unreasonable at times, just like my mother.
Today, she was still super duper nice. Went to the cemetery. Bought flowers for my grandmother's father. And bought some paper clothes, shoes, etc. for my grandfather's parents. I don't know why, but I'll always be so happy/ excited for these kind of things. I'm weird. I'm always the one wanted to do this, wanting to do that, like burning the things and buying them. Yeah. After visiting the cemetery, I get this feeling like, at least I did something for them. Lunched. Dinnered. Then went to my grandma's house. And later, homed. Oh, there was this ABCDEFG no manners woman, banged my grandma with the basket then went off without saying sorry. And she banged super hard. Like, what's wrong with her? Got mouth for what? Eat shit. Mother was laughing at me when I vulgar-ed my way when that women walked pass me. Like, seriously? Rah.
There's so many things happening in my life, my family and whatsoever. They're just coming in one by one, never ending. Sometimes I just wished time would stop or slow down for me.
Oh crap, I haven't studied for any test or done any homework. :/ Mother took my lappy, and my computer got problems. But I took it back! And now I'm using it! Yes. She said I could only use it for 2 hours per day. GOSH. 2 hours?! I always use for like don't know how long. Like, until 2am-3am? Shitass. 'Cause of that bloody Mrs P. She's wanting me to sleep early and study more. Fucktard. I can't freaking sleep. And how many times a day do you expect me to study?! Sometimes I stay back in school to study. If not, I'll study at home, when no one's at home. That's why you freaking do not see me studying in front of your bloody face. GAH.
Whatever.
Life ain't as good as it seems. Everyone's faking on the outside. You wouldn't know what others are thinking. You wouldn't know if that someone is lying. Everything seems fine when it's not. Everyone has their own problems. People are happy. People are sad. What's the difference? You wouldn't know. Somethings are so straight forward, but people just don't get it. Everyone's paranoid. No one's life is easy. Everyone has imperfections. Some just have it where everyone can see. That's why people get teased, laughed, etc. Those people should look at themselves before talking about others. Life ain't all about you. There are others living in this world. The world does not revolve for/ around anyone. Many regrets.
People love, people hate. Likes, dislikes. Nothing lasts forever. Yet, life still goes on. Time stops for no one. Hopes, dreams and wishes don't always come true. Life ain't fair. But you got to live with it. Not everything pleases everyone. Sometimes you're stuck in the middle. Sometimes you back stab, you bitch about people, you fake in front of people. And you say you hate those kind of people. Secrets? Meant to be kept? Meant to be told? People say a promise is a promise, once you break a promise, you lose someone's trust. People also say promises are meant to be broken. Who's right? Who's wrong? No one's there to judge. People make mistakes, people get accused of making mistakes, people got away after making a mistake. You get hurt, you hurt people. You don't always get what you want. You're afraid of this and that, yet you act strong in front of others. No one's true to yourself before. Everyone will tell a lie at least once in their lifetime.
When you're in love, you'd say forever. When you change, forever ended. When you realise, it's too late. When you try, you fail. When it didn't work out, you blame others. When you blame yourself, people think that you're trying to gain attention. When you attract attention, people think that you're popular or just flirting. When you end something, another thing will start. When you say you love that person, you didn't mean it. When you've hurt someone, you'd say you're sorry. It goes on and on. BUT WHAT DOES IT MATTERS?
Life's like that.
I've got so many mosquito bites. Might get dengue. Just joking. It's not funny.
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Life's a joke. Let's laugh. HA-HA.
Goodnight &Sweetdreams.
You've gotta help yourself.
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